Lord and Lady Skewampus stumbled upon death when their automobile swerved into the tar pits off Highway 5 in rural Newbraska just after 2:00 p.m., December 1, 2006. Lady Skewampus was known for her je ne sais quoi, esprit d’accord, and coup de pied aux fesses. Lord Skewampus was known for his indavertant insults and an acute penchant for licorice whips. But, it was the couple’s love of swerving their car uncontrollably around the road that led to their demise. They leave behind no children, but a legacy of destroyed mailboxes, nearly missed pedestrians, and bent rims.

Services will be held at noon on Tuesday, December 5, at the Bittles and Hurt funeral home on Main street in Newbraska. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that trees be planted along the roadside to replace the ones felled by the Skewampus’s wild rides.