Christopher and I made up a new game last night. After being unnecessarily inundated by ads for a crossover Law and Order “two-hour event,” we started thinking of Law and Order spinoffs that might actually be interesting, such as “Law and Order: Trial by Special Criminals.” But we settled on “Law and Order: Trial by Jerry.” In this scenario, the jury is comprised of 12 people all named Jerry. Our jury selection resulted in this group of anyone’s peers: Jerry Orbach, Tom and Jerry’s Jerry, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Bruckheimer, Gerald Ford, Geraldine Ferraro, Jerry Lee Lewis, Jerry Falwell, Jerry Garcia, Jerry Springer, Geri Halliwell, and Jerry Maguire with a geriatric and something jerry-rigged as alternates.

The game then became picking a name and trying to compose a so-named jury as quickly as possible. For instance, Law and Order: Trial by George included George Foreman (obvious choice for jury foreman), George Stephanopoulos, both George Bushes, Curious George, crazy King George, George Washington Carver, George Washington, George Clooney, Nancy Drew’s George, Boy George, and George Michael, with George Michael from Arrested Development and George Clinton as alternates. We had Trial by Betty with Betty White, Betty Boop, Bette Davis, Betty Crocker, and my grandma Betty. Pat Benatar, Pat Sajak, Patrick Swayze, Patrick Stewart, Patricia Arquette and Patty Duke were all grouped in solemn conference, while my cat Fran had to endure Fran Drescher.

Trial by Richard was one of my favorites, overflowing with Little Richard, Richard Marx, Dick Van Dyke, Ricardo Montalban, Richard Simmons, Rick James, Dick Butkus, Richie Rich, Richard Nixon, Richard Wagner, Dick Clark, Richie Cunningham, Lionel Richie, Richard the Lionheart, Rick Springfield, Ricky Schroder, Dick Cheney, Ranger Rick, Richard Avedon, Rick Astley, Richard Schechner, Richard Wright, Dick Shuck and Dick Hay (last two are Indiana locals). This one could go two episodes, or be a “two-hour event.”

Christopher then realized that a workable refinement for this game in party situations would be to set it up similar to Scattergories, and have teams list twelve jurors (one point each) and two alternates (one-half point each) and then compare lists, i.e., jury selection. Names that appeared on more than one team’s list would be excused from the jury (no points).

I became so addicted to selecting juries in my mind that I could not fall asleep. I began picking names that would pose difficulties for finding large groups. “Agnes my cat, Agnes of God, Agnes Urban - my fourth grade Hungarian friend…” Then I went beyond people names to try to put myself to sleep: Trial by Mesopotamia. There. Now I am done. Oh, no. “Mia Hamm, Mia Farrow. Do those count for Mesopotamia?”

Today’s post is the first in a series of Creativitips: DIY project ideas, sewing tips, and random creative advice including this topic: making and using nice statements.

Every time someone tells me that they like the Blobbies, I feel a giddy relief. Besides contributing to a safer society, saying nice things can promote creativity or be an exercise for the speaker’s creativity. Additionally, translating a nebulous remark into a compliment can be an entertaining project for the recipient. If I had not heard comments following the making of my first Blobby such as “how cute, is it a bib?” and “did you make this pillow?” I probably would not have made any more ever.

Strategy One: Making Creative Compliments

Say something abnormal to reflect the “unique” and “special” quality of that which you are appreciating. Refrain from saying “unique” or “special.” Here are some examples:

• A curator, former go-go dancer, and card-carrying disco queen told me that she had a “disco crush” on me.
• A performance artist complimented my dancing with Spanglish expletives.

Consider using concrete associations. The first time my husband was to meet my family, he came to the door bearing a Ntozake Shange and Romare Bearden book and a bouquet of flowers with a note reading “You are aluminum foil,” the mantra of our courtship. Why am I pleased to be associated with aluminum foil? It’s shiny, it’s versatile, it’s washable. My cats love aluminum foil.

Strategy Two: Positive Spinning

Whenever someone says something to you of a questionable nature, consider their perspective and Weltanshauung. Allow the likelihood that the postal worker who tells me that I always “do such a good job with my packing tape” probably sees proper and thorough packing tape distribution as a skill worthy of aspiration, and that her expert declaration of my victory over USPS regulations is like a trophy.

• After confused contemplation, I have decided that the following two encounters also qualify as kind approvals. First, a nine-year-old who had told me every week for about two months that I look like an elf came up to me and said, “Maria, I have two things to tell you. First, you DON’T look like and elf! And, can I braid your hair?” She then gave me some jelly beans.
• Second, concerning the woman who asked me, “Are you Amish? You sing like an Amish person,” I don’t know what this means, but it can’t be bad or it would be inelegant.

Concluding Thoughts

Do not forget that presentation of your charitable statement can be key. Stellar delivery or display can make up for mediocre word choice: An adolescent girl with excessive blue eye shadow told me standing at the bathroom sink of the Bloomington Golden Corral that she really liked my hairdo.

Finally, be as generous as your sincerity permits: the other night, my husband declared, “The least I can do for you is to not be Pierce Brosnan.”